I actually started drafting this post, around the same time my married friend Kim posted a blog about being married, and her views on being single, now having experienced both. This is a topic have been thinking about for a long time now. If by my friends and families accounts, I am "so great" then why in the hell am I still single? Are they lying to me to make me feel better? Everywhere I go I see people coupled up, and I don’t really have too many single friends. So it begs the question, which is the title of this post. What am I doing/not doing that is caused me to remain single for so long? Why won’t anyone in my life be straight with me, when I ask the question? There has to be a reason, or something that I am completely missing the point on that people in relationships or married people understand.
If I hear one more person say “You’ll find the right person eventually”, or “Just don’t think about it: don’t look for anyone and then you will meet someone” I will actually throw up in my mouth a little bit. Oh, and then there’s my absolute favorite; “Men are/might be intimidated by you because you have your shit together” Since when is having your shit together an unappealing quality or a slash mark in the “reasons not to date me” list that someone would put together? Completely insane! I realize people think they mean well when they say these things, but consoling me with illogical clichéd remarks aren’t helpful.
I do know that I have grown painfully tired of being single, and the feeling of having to go at everything, from the mundane, to important stuff alone. Honestly, I think everyone wants to feel like they matter quite a bit to one person, sort of like a two person team. Someone who cares about what is going on in your life, and can be counted on when you need them. It would be so nice to have someone in my life to take to a friggin party, wedding, or just sit around and watch movies and other pettily activities like that. Having friends is great, but when it comes down to it, you are not the number one person in their life, and if they are not single, as most of my friends are, the time you spend with them is scarce. I know that being in relationship inherently comes with a whole new set of problems and concerns to deal with, but if you are fortunate enough to find yourself in a mature, loving, and healthy relationship the good would outweigh the bad.
I tell myself that I have to stay positive, and all that stuff. I do I try to remind myself that I will find a great guy one day, and that I just have to make sure I am doing everything I can in the meantime make myself the best possible person I can be. I will continue down that path, in hopes that it won’t be for much longer.
If I hear one more person say “You’ll find the right person eventually”, or “Just don’t think about it: don’t look for anyone and then you will meet someone” I will actually throw up in my mouth a little bit. Oh, and then there’s my absolute favorite; “Men are/might be intimidated by you because you have your shit together” Since when is having your shit together an unappealing quality or a slash mark in the “reasons not to date me” list that someone would put together? Completely insane! I realize people think they mean well when they say these things, but consoling me with illogical clichéd remarks aren’t helpful.
I do know that I have grown painfully tired of being single, and the feeling of having to go at everything, from the mundane, to important stuff alone. Honestly, I think everyone wants to feel like they matter quite a bit to one person, sort of like a two person team. Someone who cares about what is going on in your life, and can be counted on when you need them. It would be so nice to have someone in my life to take to a friggin party, wedding, or just sit around and watch movies and other pettily activities like that. Having friends is great, but when it comes down to it, you are not the number one person in their life, and if they are not single, as most of my friends are, the time you spend with them is scarce. I know that being in relationship inherently comes with a whole new set of problems and concerns to deal with, but if you are fortunate enough to find yourself in a mature, loving, and healthy relationship the good would outweigh the bad.
I tell myself that I have to stay positive, and all that stuff. I do I try to remind myself that I will find a great guy one day, and that I just have to make sure I am doing everything I can in the meantime make myself the best possible person I can be. I will continue down that path, in hopes that it won’t be for much longer.
1 comments:
HEY RONKE!!!
It's Lorrie, you know. Granddad's fiancee. Until I understand whether "COMMENTS" means PUblic...or if it's private Emailing... i'm gonna email. I love your BLOG. it's so personal and reflects so MANY of us girls at various times in our lives. YOU ARE AWESOMELY EXPRESSIVE ... a wonderful writer. Loookin for you E now.
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